Monday, 25 April 2011

I didn't need to climax anyway...

The moment I see him I am reminded of the flinch.  I sit on my sofa, and we decide to watch a DVD, except half way through it is obvious that he isn't enjoying it.  He thought I wanted to watch it.  Are we STILL doing that.  Assuming what makes the other happy.  When did it become so difficult.  We go to sleep without having sex.  I attempted to initiate something and got nothing.  Just as I was dropping off, I think he must have thought the same.

In the middle of the night, I awoke to find a semi-erect penis in my back.  We had really animalistic sex, hard and heavy.  He came, rolled over.  I said to myself "it's okay, I didn't need to climax anyway...", and then to my surprise, I said it out loud.  He didn't respond.  I asked him to be gone by the time I woke up.

Come morning, he was gone.

Saturday, 23 April 2011

The whiskey still playing havoc with my head.  We go for a toasty brunch and talk about us.  There isn't anything to say, anything more to say.  Cue broken record.  He surprises me.  He states - "I obviously like having sex with you".  The only response that escapes my mouth is a slightly sarcastic "thank you..".

As we return to mine, we are both warmer to each other, being slumped on the sofa, we cuddle up and of course mutual nakedness happens.  It feels raw and real.  For the first time in a long time, I feel lost in it.

The flinch

We go to a new bar near mine.  I look great, not just by my standards, those around me. I feel great.  I go to kiss him and he flinches.  Everything shatters.  My confidence, my feelings, my tear ducts.  I keep it together.  Just.  Around TWO hours of polite conversation goes by.  I say anything not to cry, I pseudo-smile at his jokes.  He knows something is wrong, but can't/won't/doesn't ask.  I have a coffee with a whiskey hammered into it.

Warm whiskey makes me feel loved.  I ask him why we are doing 'this'?  Why the fuck do we continue to pretend to be a couple, I'm not even allowed to touch him.

Tuesday, 19 April 2011

Condoms II

No, conversation not over.  After some part-conversations on the matter, and now all that was on my mind was 'just the tip', he firmly thought and had it drummed into him that it was the gentleman's (his choice of word) responsibility for contraception.  How sweet.  I think. 

After some more prompting, gentle promting

He asked "wasn't it the man that was meant to be hassling about unprotected sex?"

*Awkward silence*

Monday, 18 April 2011



I mentioned that I packed condoms, that said, last night in bed, I mentioned that I was on the pill (for medical reasons dahling) and perhaps we could try intercourse without the slight interruption of pausing to put on a condom.  I think I used the word 'organic' and made a hand gesture normally reserved for spiritual leaders.  He said he wouldn't be comfortable with it.  Conversation over.

A quick recap: at the beginning of the Last Chance we talked about sexual health and were both tested.

Thursday, 7 April 2011

The toothbrush

QB: By the way you left your toothbrush at my house again.

30: I think you'll find I didn't leave it there again as it was only left the once.  I was going to ask if I could stay at yours tonight but as the occupation of the small plastic thingymagic for oral hygiene is causing such a disturbance I think I'll pass. 

QB: Okay how about: you left your toothbrush at my house still.  Your toothbrush has caused untold problems at Chez QB. The sheer weight of it on the bathroom windowsill caused the windowsill itself to buckle under the pressure causing lightning bolt cracks, nay, chasms, to appear on the wall 2 metres long... [the silliness continues for a further few paragraphs...] And all because of a small plastic thingymagic for cleaning teeth.

30: I'm assuming that my toothbrush is now in the bin and has stopped causing problems.

QB: No, the toothbrush is buried somewhere in the chaos - I haven't been able to set a foot in the bathroom!

30: Don't give me that.  Like I don't know that the chaos was caused by you in fact putting on a hazard suit (think Back to the Future) and trying to 'handle' the plastic thingymagig used for my oral hygiene. *tsk*.  It's only a toothbrush and not even my favourite one. It's not even my favourite travel one.

QB asks if he should bring my toothbrush to our next date.  I inform him again that as it's a travelling toothbrush, a spare, bought at an airport and perhaps I could leave it at his?  This is not his preferred option.

On the one hand, it's only a toothbrush, on the other - it's only a fucking toothbrush.

Wednesday, 6 April 2011

Next weekend...

We are going away for the weekend, next weekend, I'm avoiding emails that start with "about next weekend...". 

It's meant to be a casual getaway. I think that the pressure of the weekend is simmering away.  Aaaarrrggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

I have packed a saucy suitcase of clothes, lube and condoms.

Monday, 4 April 2011

Happy birthday Quiet Boy xxx

It's QB's birthday during the week.  I want to celebrate with him, he thinks he has plans with family, so maybe another night?

I get given the weekend before to celebrate with him.  Hooray!  The weekend at his is spent lovingly with treats, presents and birthday blow jobs.  I love being able to give him a spontaneous blow job and that's without it being his birthday.

On the Sunday morning, we're on the sofa.  I ask if his neighbours can see in through the window.  He didn't think so.  I demand to give him a blow job.  He looks as if doesn't want to say anything to jinx the moment, and makes some rather odd facial expressions usually seen on a silent movie star.  He wedges his hips and goes to loosen his jeans... 

I stop him. 

I slowly undo his flies right down to the last button and open the top of his jeans, and slowly find the button holding together the slip in his boxers.  He mutes the television, and although it heightens the atmosphere, it's unlike him to be so intense.

By the time his, now, extremely hard penis reaches my mouth, the pre-cum immediately hits my taste buds, he worriedly states he is going to ejaculate, now.  I continue.  The inevitable happens.

Happy birthday Quiet Boy xxx