Tuesday, 26 January 2010

One, two, buckle my...

When I said it was over, I had meant it. Alas, I was caught off-guard and I buckled.

I gave in, in a moment of weakness I allowed my loins to take the call. I agreed to see the married man.

Why?

Then, because, my stomach instantly turned over with butterflies, my ego soothed and in all honesty I was flattered.

Now, I can't justify it.

The first message said how much he had missed me, and what he would do if he saw me again. I ignored it. The second message stated how much he wanted to see me. I said I was out of London. The third message asked me to let him know when I was back.  I ignored it. The fourth message a week later asked me to meet him that night. And I did.

Four messages - is that all it takes?!

The sex was predictably animalistic, wanton, wrong and almost clinical. He has a colder Thirty than the one he met months ago. We kiss a lot, but not enough. We fuck hard but hardly intimate.

I like the fact he doesn't stay the night, I can chastise myself and I can hit my head against a wall without his help, thank you very much!

All in all, afterwards I felt physically satiated yet emotionally empty.


4 comments:

  1. I can't tell whether you're happy with this state of affairs or not?!
    plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. Believe me - it is a #HappinessFAIL

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ooh, sticky widget. Gosh darn it, why is it so hard to find someone we are physically attracted to, available, and pays attention to us!?!

    *sigh*

    I say look for a man that is a lot like him but not married. I understand this mentality, trust me.

    ReplyDelete
  4. OH no - why is the ones we are attracted to mostly seem to be taken. All the best - not to sound boring but it could let to heartbreak.

    Wish you all the best

    Kate xx
    http://secretofficeconfessions.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete