Saturday, 16 January 2010

Must have toy: boy

Having a young man on one's arm is all the rage, the ultimate must-have accessory for the modern mature woman.

Married in 2005, after a couple of years together Demi Moore and her young Spunk'd-muffin Kutcher are touting the philosophy that love knows no age and very successfully so. Skipping over the news of Sam Taylor-Wood carrying her teenage boyfriend's baby for just one second... 

The recent Robinson affair (yeah, Mrs Robinson, you couldn't make it up, oh yeah they did, and they put it all in a 1960s film staring Dustin Hoffman..) and the respective age gap of 30 years feels almost sinister or is that only due to the way it has been reported?

Yet if the roles were reversed; a man and his younger lover, would it even have made such a mess? Although even the celebrity couple that spring to mind; Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones share only a gap of 25 years!

Can one compare a young man to the active ingredients in the leading eye cream? Probably not, but I would be backing the young man every time!

In the lead up to my thirtieth birthday, at the solid age of 29, I thought it might be my last chance to go out with an 18/19 year old without it being positively yucky, even then it was more a voiced opinion than actual desire. 

I got the chance to experiment with such a notion quicker than I could have foreseen. Post-football match, a friend and I got chatting to two young men:

One of us: How are old are you?

One of them: 22

One of us: ...Sorry how old? (the pub was full to the brim, the acoustics making the venue sound like a Yorkshire Terrier convention, I merely didn't hear the answer rather than question it...)

One of them: Uhm, okay, we're 19... (pause) nearly...

We laughed at the confidence that was consuming the teenagers and we all ended up drinking with the young whipper-snappers until the last bell. Outside the tube station, I (nearly) avoided a sloppy yet enthusiastic saliva display. 

In the morning, it felt wrong! I like men my own age, sometimes a year or so either side.

That said, I am going on a date with Master Enigma this weekend, he is twenty three (a figure which looks better in words) and to be fair I am a little embarrassed. He is young, he doesn't necessarily have a young way about him, more that he's so upbeat and positive about everything!

Saying that, maybe this is my new habit, younger men; Jason was five years my junior. Although with Jason it didn't notice, you would have guessed he was mid/late twenties but he had an attitude where the world balanced heavily on his shoulders.

- Would that age gap even matter if I were 41 and him 33? Urgh, actually maybe.
- Am I one of those women who needs a young man to feel youthful? No.
- Will my friends crucify me? Probably, definitely at first. 
- Is the commitment-phobe in me attracted to men who are in no terms ready for commitment (young/broken/it's complicated)? Next question please...
- Do I have too many male friends that have at some point traded down (only in age). Perhaps.

I know that I need more than a young man on my arm to feel complete.  So why am I even entertaining the notion of this young stallion

Because he challenged me. 
Because he has a confidence without any hint of bitterness. 
Because he laughs as my jokes (even the not-very-funny ones). 
Because I believe in him. 
Because he has kind eyes.

Let's leave out for the time being that he is a saucepot!

"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."

1 comment:

  1. Older women and younger men always smacks a little of desperation - even with Demi Moore you get the impression she couldn't hang on to Bruce Willis. When I was a younger man I tended to date women a few years older than myself and I can only really think of one girl who has been ten years younger than me, (I was thirty four she was twenty four). Older women are more fun but of course their bodies can never be as good as the eighteen to early twenties girls. For women I can definitely see the attraction of younger men from a sexual point of view, I suppose energy wins out over experience. At the same time the woman is effectively saying, "Hey I am not here for the intellectual stimulation - just feeling horny". That fits in with the current vogue for women to aggressively express their sexuality.