Wednesday, 13 January 2010

Internet Dating

Later this week I am catching up with Sensible and Frigid, and they will be requiring an report on my internet dating. The thing is, I haven't started yet. I expect to be (jokingly) reprimanded.

Past experiences have genuinely put me off:

The Liar

He started he was 5'11" and turned out to be 5'7"! I wore heels to compensate what I thought would be his height and it ended up with me towering over him. 

It wasn't the height thing, as I've said before, but if he lied about his height, what else was he lying about? AND how on earth did he think I wouldn't notice!

The Long-term Nothing

We messaged, emailed and texted for nearly a month. After which time meeting was certainly an expectation of something explosive. It turns out there wasn't any 'real' chemistry and we both felt a little silly!

The Stalker

We met up, had a couple of drinks, it ended in a kiss. I went away for a few days and returned to find ten text messages, four missed calls, two voicemails and a week later a Dear John email... Eeek!

The Horn Dog

Two messages in and he starts going into favourite sexual positions.

The Comfort Blanket

I have been made to feel comfortable enough that my guard was down and after a couple of glasses of wine, I shared way TOO much information!

The One Night Stand

You like each other, but not enough to see each other again. You have a laugh and somewhere between having that laugh and should be heading home, you end up going home together. How? I'm not really sure.
Cue a very awkward email to send or receive the next day.

The White Jeans

I was looking forward to meeting this particular bloke and when I got to the pub he was wearing white jeans. I couldn't stop looking at them. I'm not usually fussed about how a man dresses, but I couldn't look past them. Having something to prove to my inner-shallowness I agreed to meet him again, and again he arrived in white jeans, looking like he had just come from the Daz doorstop challenge!

If I were to reinitiate internet dating now, I'm sure all I would want my profile to read: "Does it matter what my interests are? Here's a couple of pictures, let's meet for a coffee". However, I'm sure that would bring its own trouble!

I'm not saying that internet dating doesn't work, and I'm not ruling it out, just not right now.


  1. Are you giving up so easily? I have it on good female authority that the best way to sift out the hopeless dross on dating websites is spelling, grammar and syntax. What filtering tactics do you use?

  2. White jeans? The man needs shooting...

    Maybe you could try a different dating site?

    Kate x

  3. MonMouth

    I'm not giving up, just yet! I'm putting it on hold until I have more mental energy and time. My filtering does include spelling & grammar, original humour, and something that doesn't read like it has been copy and pasted to every other woman in north London. That said I am a sucker for kind eyes.


    I would certainly try a new dating site!

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