12 Days of Christmas - Thank you

This blog was initially an outlet and escape for my sexual thoughts.

Earlier this year I was feeling emotionally squashed, the words I wanted to use sounded superficial when spoken aloud and in turn my justification for the sex I wanted and do want in my life could only but sound shallow, although this was not necessarily the case.

Since writing this blog, my thoughts, desires and fantasies are clearer than ever before, I still feel conflicted at times, but definitely in better place to make decisions and if needed to compromise.

Thank you for reading, and for your feedback and comments, private and public, naughty and nice.

Happy New Year xx

12 Days of Christmas - The Gift of Moxie

Relationships can be a non-stop train to crazyville if one lets it.

We've all got friends or our own experiences of when one can't see the trees for looking when in comes to involvement with the wrong person, at the wrong time and in the wrong place!!

Which is why I can recommend wholeheartedly Moxie in the City and her amazing blog 'And THAT'S Why You're Single'. Moxie is straight-talking, no-nonsense but with the smidgen of reality that is needed, especially when considering all the rose-tinted advice out there.

Moxie's questions and subsequent answers are thought provoking and more than interesting. Her readership are encouraged to add their own opinion and experiences, which with any blog having the view of not only peers but those of the opposite sex invaluable.

Just one more thing - I would like to add that as she introduced me to the gorgeousness that is Matthew Gray Gubler, and according to my sources it is Moxie's birthday today, so all say after me: Happy Birthday Moxie, for she's a jolly good fellow xx

12 Days of Christmas - On the seventh day of Christmas...

On the seventh day of Christmas,

my true love sent to me

Seven sinners a-swinging,

Six geezers anal-licking, 

Five golden showers,

Four call girls,

Three French kisses,

Two turkey slaps, 

And a pearl necklace on a bare chest!

(These are nearly all fictional, the carol was adapted during Christmas Eve festivities!)

12 Days of Christmas - A - Z

Diary entry from December 2008 (I almost don't recognise my words, it sounds like I answered the questions in a rush).

A

- Available: And willing...
- Age: 30 and loving it.
- Annoyance: People who walk slowly... in busy places.
- Animal: My last shag.

B

- Beer: Had a lovely mulled cider the other night, does that count?!
- Best Friend(s): my very own Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha.
- Body Part on opposite sex: Heads (brains), Shoulders (brawn), Knees (great for doggie) and Toes (start with the ultimate foot rub).
- Best feeling in the world: Multiple orgasms, three in a row back to back to back.
- Blind or Deaf: Deaf.
- Best weather: Beating sun or snow, nothing in between.
- Been on stage?: Fallen off it a few times.
- Believe in Magic: No.
- Believe in Santa: No :(

C

- Candy: Flake.
- Color(s): Silk Cut Purple.
- Chocolate/Vanilla: Vanilla with Chocolate Sauce.
- Chinese/Mexican: Mexican arrribbbaa.
- Cake or pie: Cake I guess... Unless Pecan Pie.
- Continent to visit: Australasia.
- Cheese: Fresh Buffalo mozzarella.

D

- Day or Night: Both, simply when everyone is asleep.
- Dance in the rain: Yes... and more...

E

- Eyes: Brown.
- Everyone's got: Dreams.
- Ever failed a class?: Of course not - top of the class, oh wait a minute, there was that one exam.

F

- First thoughts waking up: Wakey wakey.
- Food: Anything that can be doubled up and used in the bedroom.

G

- Greatest Fear: Hmmm, losing my libido maybe..
- Goals: Travel more.
- Gum: Not since the hubba bubba days.
- Get along with your parents?: Usually.
- Good luck charm: My lucky knickers.

H

- Hair Colour: Not my natural!
- Height: With heels - a giraffe.
- Happy: Positively.
- Holiday: New Years... Clean slate, dreams and wish lists.
- How do you want to die: Fast, quick, painless and preferably in my sleep.

I

- Ice Cream: Ben & Jerrys.
- Instrument: My mouth.

J

- Jewellery: Anything bar Pat Butcher earrings.
- Job: I'm a secretary.

K

- Kids: None that I know of...
- Kickboxing or karate: Kickboxing. I'll whip your ass, or at least take on the challenge...
- Keep a journal?: Religiously or not at all.

L

- Love: Is worth it.
- Laughed so hard you cried: Yesterday.

M

- Milk flavour: Chocolate. No, Banana. No, Chocolate. Yes, Chocolate.
- Movies: Nearly all.
- Motion sickness?: When I'm reading in a car.
- McD's or BK: McD fries and BK burgers.

N

- Number of Siblings: Real, adopted or kidnapped?
- Number of Piercings: A couple.
- Number: Lucky number 7!

O

- One Wish: Comfort.

P

- Perfect Pizza: The perfect NY slice.

Q

- Quail: Not knowingly!

R

- Reasons to cry: Pain and heartache.
- Radio Station: Early morning shows and selected podcasts.
- Roll your tongue in a circle? Yes, if it's what I am thinking.
- Ring size: M or N?

S

- Shoe size: They're not shoes, they're canoes.
- Salad Dressing: French all the way.
- Sushi: Raw fish? Fry that shit up and then we can talk.
- Slept outside: Yes, camping.
- Skinny dipped?: Once or twice.
- Shower daily?: Of course!
- Sing well: In the shower.
- In the shower?: See above.
- Strawberries/Blueberries: Strawberries unless in a muffin.

T

- Tattoos?: Yep, what can I say?  I was young...
- Time for bed: When I'm tired/horny.
- Thunderstorms: If I'm out of harms way.

U

- Unpredictable: Well, spontaneous maybe?

V

- Vacation spot: I have at least one for every continent...

W

- Weakness: Cock and the right smile.
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you: Thankfully none.
- Worst feeling: Heartbreak.
- Wanted to be a model?: Nope. I did for a time want to be an actress.
- Where do we go when we die?: Next life?!
- Worst Weather?: Cold and wet.

X

- X-Rays: I've had a bunch.
- Ex's: All are reference points.

Y

-Year it is now: 2008.
-Yellow: Bees and Wasps.

Z

- Zoo animal: Zebra (prenounced Zed-bra not Zee-bra).

LAST PERSON WHO…

1. Slept in a bed beside you?: A drunken friend passed out.
2. You went to the mall with?: Me, myself and I.
3. You went to dinner with?: A date.
4. You talked to on the phone?: My new housemate.
5. Made you laugh?: Frankie Boyle.
6. Hugged you?: A drunk on the tube.
7. Said they loved you? An ex about six years after we broke up.
8. Held your hand?: The dinner date.
9. Spoke with?: An overseas friend.
10. You cried over?: A death.

12 Days of Christmas - On the sixth day of Christmas...

On the sixth day of Christmas,

my true love sent to me,

Six geezers anal-licking, 

Five golden showers,

Four call girls,

Three French kisses,

Two turkey slaps, 

And a pearl necklace on a bare chest!

(These are nearly all fictional, the carol was adapted during Christmas Eve festivities!)

12 Days of Christmas - Top Six Festive Songs

This time of year brings out the romantic in me musically.  As such, I'm in the mood for dancing and romancing.  

My favourite Christmas tunes:

Fairytale of New York by The Pogues and Kirsty MacColl

Last Christmas by Wham

Do They Know It's Christmas by Band Aid

Merry Christmas Everybody by Slade

These two also have a special place for me at this time of year:

Imagine by John Lennon

Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley

(Nearly ruined by Simon Cowell and his X-Factor music-destroying-machine, but not quite...)

Is it me, or are these not the cheeriest of songs?  

Someone please pass the tissues!

12 Days of Christmas - On the fifth day of Christmas...

On the fifth day of Christmas,

my true love sent to me

Five golden showers,

Four call girls,

Three French kisses,

Two turkey slaps, 

And a pearl necklace on a bare chest!

(These are nearly all fictional, the carol was adapted during Christmas Eve festivities!)

12 Days of Christmas - Do you not know who I am?

Mr Maybe Next Time asked nothing of me, didn't question or challenge me and maybe that is the real reason I stayed with him.

It reminds me of when I was with my first love and to celebrate our first Christmas together he gave me a gold necklace and bracelet set. Which was lovely and more than I had expected, except I never wore or wear gold. He looked up at me from next to the Christmas tree with big brown eyes asking if I liked it.

I proclaimed that jewellery was the lovely, and it was, it just wasn't me. Some lies have kindness behind them.

We broke up about a fortnight later. Coincidence?

12 Days of Christmas - On the fourth day of Christmas...

On the fourth day of Christmas,

my true love sent to me

Four call girls,

Three French kisses,

Two turkey slaps, 

And a pearl necklace on a bare chest!

(These are nearly all fictional, the carol was adapted during Christmas Eve festivities!)

12 Days of Christmas - Christmas Past

Diary entry from Boxing Day 2004

Background: In early November I had broken up with the Love of my Life for good, or so I thought, we got back together in February of 2005, but I didn't know that at this point.

On my birthday that year, I bumped into a man from my past, from my teenage years, Rover. The night ended in a kiss, then another and endless conversations from reminiscing old memories to putting the world to rights.

I explained that I had just got out of a heavy relationship and in no fit state to be in a new relationship, and should I be involved with anyone, I certainly couldn't guarantee anything more than a rebound fling.

Tempting?

We had that rebound fling and Boxing Day we fell into an exhausted heap onto my sofa after a week of festive celebrations. Watching a perfect-for-Christmas film, kissing became petting, and then sex.

To my horror the condom split, I think there was a small amount of pride in him, that his manhood had managed to split the condom.

I was not so calm, he had a reputation, and he had said on more than one occasion that we didn't have to use condoms, although I insisted that we did. If rumours were to be believed, wearing two condoms might not be enough!

I was tired and distraught, I asked him to leave, calling him a taxi. To add to my neurotic misery, I doubted that my pill would be 100% effective after leaving them at home three days in a row earlier in the week.

When we broke up in early January after four or so weeks together, Rover thought that I hadn't been serious about the extent of my rebound state of mind, I'm can be a hedonist, I threw myself into our time together. I was heartbroken (about the Love of my Life) and should the time have been different who knows?

[Disclaimer]

12 Days of Christmas - On the third day of Christmas...

On the third day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Three French kisses,
Two turkey slaps, 
And a pearl necklace on a bare chest!

(These are nearly all fictional, the carol was adapted during Christmas Eve festivities!)