Thursday, 26 November 2009

Is sex a deal breaker?

Reading Moxie's post asking if sexual compatibility was a deal breaker got me thinking. I am reminded of a previous post where I said I would raise my standards and lower my expectations. With my standards higher, I have more space to manoeuver any potential compromise.
I cannot imagine myself in a successful relationship without decent sex, I've tasted the near-perfect match mentally, emotionally and physically more than once. That said, I am a realist, I have truly loved and I felt that love again without explosive sex, maybe I could compromise with meeting in the middle physically, maybe.
My response to Moxie's post:
I'm 30 and sex is very important to me.
However, relationship sex is different to casual/fling sex.
If one has a casual relationship, merely based on attraction and hooking up,then the sex should be great or good and improving with each meet.
Relationship sex is different, with a boyfriend the sex usually gets better with intimacy in a way that would rarely happens with a casual relationship.
When I like someone enough to commit to them, I look for good sex, effort and enthusiasm and a willing to try each other's fantasies.
My level of compromise seems to be diminishing with age, I have had a relationship where for a year (not even great) sex was on offer once a week and we were practically living together at the time and that now is a no go for me. And in contrast with someone for four years and sex was still at least every other day and great.
If sex tapers naturally throughout a relationship, I would prefer it fade from ten times a week to five, than from five times a week to two...
Bookmark and Share


  1. Unfortunately most men lose their desire to have sex with a girl the longer they are with them. Perhaps it is different if you are crazy in love, one of my favourite movies of all time is Local Hero. In it the bar owner and his wife just cannot keep their hands off each other. It would be nice o think we can all have a life like that.

  2. My last long term relationship was down to once a month. She was like an iron board so I'd sneak into the attic room for a cheeky wank - thinking about the fit barmaid at our local.