I was really surprised that one of the new brides commented that at least two years leading up the nuptials sex had been on a quarterly basis. FOUR TIMES A YEAR. I was gobsmacked.
I asked if she minded talking about it, she didn't, I asked if it was her or him, she said a bit of both, they were at it like rabbits to begin with, less so in the second year and for the last few years every four months or so. She said that she missed the passion but love had overtaken, like a tortoise and hare scenario.
Still intrigued, I spoke to the third couple marrying. A similar thing, they had been together six years and stopped having regular sex in the second year and on average every six months (this is where she had to think for a few minutes) the last time? It must have been January, maybe February.
JANUARY, MAYBE FEBRUARY!
Both couples missed the passion, and the fucking like rabbits, but also relished the security, love and devotion that the changed dynamics of the relationship had brought.
I appreciate that my libido may be higher than the average bear, but I can't imagine committing to someone allegedly until death does us part, if the time leading up to the wedding was not perfect, or as near to perfect as one can get. Start as you mean to go and all that.
With Mr Maybe Next Time, the passion was low but I think the longest we went without sex was a fortnight, though I probably would have been attempting to dry-hump his leg for the week before - I am not the most subtle when it comes to hints.
Is sex more important than security? For me, I think so.