Tuesday, 27 October 2009

Go ahead, crush my heart

Quiet boy wants to meet up to discuss us. Rather than say "here is my heart, go ahead, crush it", I have been thinking:
Dear Quiet boy,
Please seriously consider what you want, you are not going to walk back into my life or my bed where you left it. If you want to pursue any kind of relationship, casual or otherwise, you will need to start at the beginning at step one; wooing and courting.
A fresh start
I feel that I know you well enough to want to spend more time with you, I'm not saying that we go straight to girlfriend & boyfriend, without passing go, I'm not even saying exclusivity to begin with. I am suggesting we spend time together and allow the relationship to grow and evolve perhaps without disintegrating at the first hurdle.
Friendship
Our friendship is invaluable to me, but for as long as it is on an equal footing. Chemistry aside, we have a connection past the 'norm', we: can deal with the serious subjects with compassion, understanding and tenderness; laugh; cry; spend endless time together without friction; be romantic; play on the swings; enjoy highs and support lows.
Relationship
However you wish to label it, it will be a relationship. If you don't want a relationship, don't instigate one. Don't be romantic or delusional, you know my strengths and flaws, I can be loving and passionate but with that comes a fiery side.
Emotionally and mentally
You are amongst my most trusted friends, for good reason, I want to share my experiences with you, both good and bad. I'm not sure why you feel under pressure to be 'happy' all the time, because I certainly don't expect that.
You have an idea of expectations that are not or can not be a reality, it would be impossible to sustain what you think a relationship should be. My relationship experience has taught me a great deal, but that doesn't mean I have all the answers. I am open to discussion, growth, empathy and understanding.
The only thing I ask for is communication and to be included, not discarded.
There will be good days and hopefully not many bad days. You sporadically frustrate me, as I am sure that I annoy you at times. That's normal!
As you know my strengths, weaknesses and quirks, I know yours and accept them unconditionally.
Can you say the same? You cannot project your intimidations, inferiority complex and insecurities on the relationship nor me. What about your previous [in your words] 'hollow apologies', you've said you would act the same again?
Sexually
I am a very sexual person, deal with it, you're quite happy to reap the benefits as and when they suit you, just beware that is a two-way street. I'm not however going to settle for any sex - I can and do have sex elsewhere, and suggest that if only sex is what you want you find it some other place than here.
I want a sexual relationship that can grow and develop, fantasies discussed and perhaps then acted upon. Sex and relationships can go in hand very successfully. We have from the off always had great chemistry and sex, with you, I have been on the receiving end of intense emotionally-driven orgasms and long may that continue...
Love
Are you capable of love? You know I have in the past felt a great deal for you. If you try and control how I feel, like before, this won't work. Things need to be balanced with an equal respect.
In summary
Don't settle for me because a) in your words you don't want someone else to have me b) in your words you're worried you won't meet someone like me again and c) because you are horny.
Yours, maybe,
Thirty xx
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5 comments:

  1. Wow. That's pretty damned impressive - no grey area there whatsoever.

    Hope the result is the one you want :)

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  2. I love it. Wish I had your confidence.

    Kate xx
    http://secretofficeconfessions.blogspot.com/

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  3. Squatter

    Thanks - I know what I want, let's see if he can deliver :)

    Kate

    Confidence - yes. Does it get me into trouble - oh yes!!

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  4. Haha, go girl. Was he rubbish in bed, yeah? It's just so much easier to be selfish...

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  5. He was amazing in bed, he doesn't quite have the libido I have and would sometimes make me feel bad for wanting sex...

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