Sunday, 11 October 2009

Friends with benefits

A male friend and I got into the mass (yes - I can be puerile) debate 'do fuck buddies work or even exist'? My experience says yes. His inexperience said no. I've had a few of my own, some very successful some not so:
Drummer boy
We fucked each other on and off for around six years - give or take. During that time I would say for around six months I was falling for him but because we had such a strong friendship and fuckship when the infatuation faded I still saw him for four years. The sex was safe, mutual masturbation and penetration. No oral, well he instigated oral around five years in, I was so shocked I think I nearly kneed him in the face!
The Scottish Scott
An amazing lover, and had all the right words and moves. When we were together it was great, he would either be smothering with texts or completely disappeared. I fell for his Scottish charm, and within a week of spending all our time together in bed, I knew he could literally pull out my heart and crush it. I fucked him out of my system.
Our first night together was after a drink-fuelled evening but it stop us having sex six times, three times before sleep and three sleepy fucks. We saw each other, twice a week, I would oblige his texted requests i.e. 'turn up with just underwear under a coat' and so on... until it fizzled out. He was insatiable.
The rebound
After a pretty torturous long-term relationship, I bumped into an old admirer, after a cheeky snog, I explained that I had just got out of a long relationship and just looking for some fun. Four weeks later he proclaimed I might be his 'happily ever after', sadly for all involved I didn't feel the same, so it ended.
We fucked, long and hard. We laughed, long and hard. I thought it was a fuck-for-fun relationship, he thought I was too into him and backed off. I was into him, but in a pent-up, oh my god you have an amazing tongue kind of way, not in a can we have babies kind of way. I would have been happier to have the sex, he tried to integrate the friendship which confused everything but hey...
With sex, comes a connection, with a connection comes the possibility of being hurt. But it's the possibility of being hurt makes me feel alive.
Thinking about this I think as long as both people involved up front, I think it's possible to have a successful fuck buddy relationship.
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  1. I had a fuck buddy once. It was great. Some of the best sex ever. Of course I was being a prick at the time 'cause I was married (we were on the verge of divorcing - and did a year later).

    But it was fantastic. I still think back to those times.

    I think everyone should have one.

  2. Hear hear - as long as it's a fuck buddy upfront hopefully hurt feelings can be avoided!