Sunday, 13 September 2009

Scarlet Magazine

Diary entry from September 2006
Scarlet magazine: I bought it last week but today is the first chance I have had a chance to flick through it. The cover has a profile of a pretty brunette, in fact if it didn't have in big fuck off letters 20 PAGES of EROTICA one would assume it was similar in content to Marie Claire, Glamour etc.. As most of the advertising is of lingerie and adult toys, not sure how comfortable I would be reading it on the tube. I consider myself sexually confident (at times) but the inner prude blushes way too easily... No-one ever read over my shoulder on the bus/tube/train, that was until I was reading a Ben Elton novel, I think it might have been Dead Famous or Past Mortem, and I caught the bloke next to me peer over and it obviously had to be the page where fisting* and olive oil were going hand-in-hand. I instantly blushed. As with most publications it comes with a wallchart (note to the Guardian - why oh why would I want a wallchart of dinosaurs, trees or whatever - and calm - I'm sure that many people do like wallcharts - I apologise). This wallchart, however, is of vibrators, I am quietly pleased that I own one of them, but think, where on earth would I put this wallchart. I call one of my friends and she suggests somewhere ironic like the bathroom but not say the living room or bedroom would be trying to prove how sexually liberated one was (which I hope to be one day!).
The letters page gave a good insight to previous editions, "Lotto Cock" reminded me of a potential Sun headline but still with an open mind I move on... Full frontal was a great page, it instantly made me laugh with 10 Unfortunate URLs - in particular www.powergenitalia.com (Italian Power generator) and www.expertsexchange.com (computer experts).
Some scantily clad men thrown in, some "erotic" shots of Danny Dyer, naked men are much less alluring than say naked women (I am straight, very straight), the pics take themselves too seriously and there is none of the cheeky smile and naughty glint that we all love Danny Dyer for. An excellent article by Loaded editor, it says first installment - on to a good thing...
Technical tips - blow-jobs - half way through reading this, my boss comes in, I'm at lunch, but still put Scarlet in between the Metro, not sure if I want to start discussing the "5 solutions to the spit/swallow debate" with the office - I am still new here!!
Questionnaire completed - I am at medium risk to have an affair...
Back to work in five, I quickly skim the rest, I note six more articles I want to read, some ideas for presents and shopping, a cocktail recipe to try, Toy with us, as well as the aforementioned twenty pages of erotica.
*fisting isn't recognised as a word according to the gmail spell checker

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