Monday, 7 September 2009

No offence

Wouldn't it be great if you could honestly talk to your partner without causing pain, embarrassment or offence.
I wrote about Mr Maybe-next-time not liking to give the gift of oral sex but as I couldn't speak with him frankly without him becoming very defensive, changed the subject or plain silent. The one time we tried a 69 it wasn't great but after a year of no oral sex I was just over the moon to have him down there.
He didn't seem to know what he was doing and used his tongue as if it was his penis, it was clumsy and rushed. When a week later he said he didn't want to do it again that was the unique opportunity I had to give him some tips and motion him towards perhaps just a clit peck, which in turn could become a clit kiss, a clit snog or even (fingers crossed) clitoclasmic orgasm. But I didn't, the moment passed. My frustration returned, I felt cold and rejected and treated him as such. It was sad.
If it isn't possible to speak to your partner, at least at the end of a relationship wouldn't it be great if one could rationally and honestly give feedback without any of the hurt or resentment? I would like to think so.
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