Saturday, 12 September 2009

10 things I want to try... (in more detail - part two)

Anal Sex
I should have added a little bit about anal sex on this previous post but thought it deserved and required some further investigation:
Never say never
When I was younger there was no way I was going to be anally penetrated. There were different connotations surrounding it, anal sex between consenting heterosexual couples was illegal when I first started experimenting sexually and the subject was certainly taboo with my friends and a complete veto with boyfriends.
The considerations for losing my rosebud cherry:
I was remember how both when I lost my virginity, the first blow job I gave, my first fingering, more firsts! Let's just say when the fourth person I gave a blow job to really hurt me (a story for another time) I was VERY upset, distraught, followed by a MIGHTY anger and I felt extra hurt as I gave him a blow job when I was still sensitive about giving them.
I know I will become emotionally attached and as such I am weighing up the options of the fallout, and if I were to get upset I'm not sure how many friends I would have the courage to talk to. I am drawing up a list, male gay friends are at the top!
Preparation is key it seems. I don't want to soil anywhere during the event and I certainly don't want to have any bowel 'loosening' after the event. After a little research, I have started to keep a food diary and a poo diary, yes, on my desktop there is a file called poo.doc, oh how we laugh!
What if something goes wrong, not enough lube, too much lube?! I don't want it looking like the first five minutes of a late night Casualty special. I know doctors and nurses would have seen worse but I still don't want to be at their mercy.
The right person
Considering the emotional attachment and the potential embarrassment if it goes wrong or I don't like it, I can't decide whether I should wait until I am settled in a loving trusting relationship, suggest it to a long-term lover and other ingenious ideas. For the time being I am leaving to when it feels right, it will feel right. And hopefully that time will be the right side of my stool diary!
But all in all, I am not put off trying anal sex, and more than happy to don a strap-on for a loved on if he wanted me to. In fact that makes my rosebud twitch as much as thinking of being penetrated there myself.
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PS - Rosebud: Was that what Orson Welles was referring to in Citizen Kane?! Just found this, and I'm not far off, it was a vaginal rosebud not an anal one according to gossip.


  1. Physical prep!! Unsexy.. I have also seen advice suggesting enemas before etc. Everyone knows what the primary function of the anus is, if a guy is scared of a shit smear he shouldn't put his dick there. Saying that I've enjoyed bum fucking many girls, all on the fly with no prep and never had any hint of shit. I think it would be kinda fun to experience a little accident, depending how secure she is it might be embarrassing for her but it would also be an intimate/bonding moment.

    I'd suggest experimenting by yourself with your toys and lubes if you need it, this will give you confidence when you try a cock. Might make it look like it's not your “first” but sure most guys would prefer you to know how to handle their cock rather than “be their first” yelp in pain and abort the mission.

    Something you see little advice about is after anal etiquette. One girl friend loved anal but stood out always going to the toilet to expel my cum immediately after which slightly offended me :). Equally another girl was a little offended with me after I washed my dick after, it wasn't visibly dirty I did it out of politeness (I had hopes of waking up with a bj :) which comes back to the prep being unsexy. Good sex is sweaty, spontaneous and fun

  2. Wow thanks! You have certainly given me food for thought :)

  3. Just goes to show how differently people react. I've got no problem with H. expelling the goo right afterwards. She's got no problem (quite the opposite) with me washing straight away.

    For us, a big part of the thrill is the trust involved. I've got the power to hurt her quite badly or send her to the moon, she is necessarily passive and somewhat submissive. She trusts me absolutely to stop when she says stop.

    Preparation doesn't have to be unsexy, massaging lube in and around the target area and dipping an exploratory finger in is all part of the fun.

    On the subject of fingers, INSIST on neatly-trimmed fingernails or it will all end in tears (pronounce that either way), if you have to sacrifice spontaneity then so be it.

  4. FC,

    Thank you again for your detailed comment. It reassures what I hoped all along, that I shouldn't try it without trust, and avoid just rushing it as it preoccupies my fantasies and desires to get it under my belt so to speak.

    It's lovely having your point of view.