Tuesday, 11 August 2009

Taking control

Diary entry from November 2006
It wasn't until I was in my early twenties that a boyfriend asked me to play with myself for him, I was nervous and it was obvious (to me at least) of how inexperienced I was, I had had sexual partners for four years but that's all it was, sex, foreplay really didn't happen for me in those days, not to mention orgasms (but that's a story for another time). Being in a long distance relationship was difficult, but the pining when we were apart and the passionate, intense fortnightly encounters seemed to make it all worthwhile. Mr Redhill was brilliant at keeping it all together and gave me my first vibrator to keep me company in his absence. It was a pocket pleaser from Ann Summers, and needed just one Walkman battery to keep going. At first I kept it for those long phone calls, but soon enough it became part of my daily routine, where orgasms had happened once and only, they were now happening daily, I couldn't believe that I hadn't been doing this for years. But, as my relationship with Mr Redhill ended, so did mine with toys.. It was about five years later that it was rekindled. I was away with work and missing my boyf terribly. As Ann Summers started their High Street Takeover, I go in for an innocent browse and stumble across their Clit Kit, so neatly packaged in a tin, I make the purchase. On the way back to my hotel I leave a sexy voicemail for my boyf. I get back to the hotel and the phone rings, my boyf and I forget the normal pleasantries and he starts by asking what I am wearing, I respond by saying "nothing" (I was wearing a vest top and shorts but he didn't need to know that), I could tell by his breathing that he was turned on, hearing him made me melt, I told him I was waiting for him before I tried my new toy. I could hear him undo his belt, I wanted him so badly, I missed his body, his smell and touch. I tease him with what I would do to him if I was with him. I get the Clit Kit and use the attachment that looks like a Christmas tree, by this point I am practically dripping with excitement, I gently press the vibrator against my clit and within 30 seconds we both climax. I couldn't wait to get home to try to use it together. Before this turns into an Ann Summers advert, they should put a massive "disappointment" sticker on their battery operated products. You should try getting small round flat batteries from the corner shop, with the 60 year old bloke behind the counter asking if they for a calculator! Yeah, thanks for that!! It's not just the purchasing of batteries, why, oh why, do you always run out at about two in the morning when you are horny as hell. For my next purchase I knew it had to be power operated, no more batteries, I feel liberated!! My boyf was intimidated by the rampant rabbit style vibrator (he had nothing to be insecure about, he had girth to die for), so in a quest for the ultimate clit quencher I used the Internet for research. Decisions, decisions, I opted for the Durex Little Gem. Ordered online, and arrived in very discreet packaging. I couldn't wait to use it but like a new mobile phones needs to be charged for 16 hours, the inner geek can't help but comment on how the shape reminds me of the Star Trek Enterprise. Once charged, I try out all the settings and within minutes lightly moans can be heard. Job well done, best purchase to date (so far). Reliving these memories, gets me in the mood for a physical recap, so I turn the radio up (do my flatmates know what this means?) and jump back into bed.
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  1. The small button cell batteries are almost always of type 'LR44' so just ask for that. You can get them in Maplins, who are everywhere on the high streets these days, even on Bishopsgate in The City (I don't know which bits of the metropolis you inhabit). The advantage of that being you can look like a techno-geek rather than someone looking for to refuel their pocket rocket.

  2. I think I've since thrown that vibe away - I have a battery operated Rock Chick and ensure that any new pocket rockets are AA!!