Saturday, 1 August 2009

So how was it for you?

I was writing a post on the etiquette of how to respond when asked "how is it for you?", and came up with a few perhaps insolent answers along the lines of - should one respond:
a) I've had better
b) It'll get better
c) Do you have NO idea...?
Answers on a postcard.
I was reminded that bitchy is not the way forward.
Of course I would use none of the above. It's important especially at the beginning of a relationship to be realistic and I'm aware that with practice and communication it's going to improve ten-fold in a short space of time.
Personally I want to covet my partner's body and know all of it by touch, smell and taste and with that I know that I sometimes rush that, so eager and greedy for it so to speak.
I once was so impatient to have a new lover inside of me I said, wait for it, so cringe-worthy, "can't we just cut the foreplay...". He looked at me with a confused face. You see for me, foreplay had started hours previously in a bar, a restaurant and then the journey home. By the time he kissed me with such strength, I was already sopping wet and ached for him to be in me. For him, he wasn't sure if sex was even on the cards. His confused face turned to a smug one and let's just say he made me 'suffer' through hours of foreplay before letting me get off so lightly.
I once read you should teach men as if they were dolphins. Reward good behaviour and ignore bad behaviour, it's certainly food for thought.

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