Monday, 27 July 2009

Never too old for...

I have a three love bites the size of two pound coins scattered across my neck. Admittedly I wasn't too bothered at the time of their creation, as I recall it was hot, heated and actually very nice. That was of course before I looked in the mirror this morning.
What gives a 33 year old man the impression that love bites are cool and sexy? I feel like I have regressed to my teens and this is certainly not the weather to be wearing a roll-neck.
I went into work with some longer-than-normal earrings, my neck plastered with foundation and a Zoolander "I can't look left" approach to the day. Of course come lunchtime one bite was spotted! *dies of shame*
My colleagues assume, I'm sure not how, what or why, that I am an innocent 'butter wouldn't melt' kind of girl and the look of disgust from the Managing Director's PA was enough for me want to recoil into my mother's womb right there and then.
I sent the instigator a text condemning him to a life of punishment which seemed to turn him on and perhaps oddly as he was rather proud he wanted pictures as evidence.

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