Disdain

To the disdain of a (female) friend, I went out with the ex-lover (Bruce) on Saturday after, get this, I was asked out by Young JT.

Young JT suggested going out on the one night I wasn't available, I replied with "the weekend is pretty much open" and he didn't get back to me until Saturday morning to ask how things were?

In the interim, Bruce asked if I was busy on Saturday night, and my calendar was free.

I explained to my friend if I waited for all possibilities with a man were exhausted from meeting, one of us proposing a drink to deciding not to see each other again before engaging/pursuing a second man and so on, I might still be 'working things out with a teenage sweetheart'.

I owed Young JT less than nothing, although my girl friend thought otherwise?!

Although it did make me think, how I crave sex.  Or do I?  Is it merely I am accustomed to lots of sexual activity that my body awaits it, like sustenance?

I often wonder if maybe my body has a chemical imbalance or am I simply a gay man trapped in a female body?

Lay back and think of...

I met up with an on/off lover at the weekend, for drinks and dinner. Even though we hadn't seen each other naked for other a year, the chemistry was as intense as it has always been.

As we returned to mine, he turned to me, kissed me firm on the mouth and stated: "..you know we're not going to sleep together tonight?". My response was something along the lines of "what are you doing here then, you've missed the last train!?".

We fell through the front door in a heap of giggles.

While kissing, he explained that he had a urinary tract infection and didn't want to do anything involving his penis, I licked his lips and warmly said he could stay, and seeing as he was here we could also cuddle.

That didn't mean I had to go without! He went quickly from teasing me, to my knickers off, and his tongue drowning my clitoris.

Maybe in the back of my mind, subconsciously, I was waiting for my period. But all of a sudden I felt awkward, uneasy, I wanted to reciprocate but couldn't. I wanted to go from him going down on me to a 69 or penetration. I should have been able to just enjoy it, but it felt perfunctory, like going through the motions.

I couldn't help but think did he really have a urinary tract infection or was it something worse, an STD perhaps? I casually joked to that effect, he laughed, a little too hard!!

xkcd: You hang up

 

http://xkcd.com/698/

PMT

In my case this stands for pre-menstrual tolerance.

 

I don't get PMT, you would hear me say, and I don't outwardly.  I don't crave much more than an extra egg, I rarely get mardy, my horniess is almost unbearably high to very high!

 

I do however, become extremely headstrong, almost a checks and balances from my head to heart to loins.  

 

As an example, I can look back at each time Quiet boy and I took a breather, and each time it was two days before my period.  

 

My period is due today and the last two days have been filled with putting my house so to speak in order with efficiency that Mary Poppins would be envious of.

 

Noticeably my tolerance levels all but disappear.  Unfortunately I tend not to notice that until it's too late!

Dim sum, lose some

...Mr Smith: I still want to talk about sex with you, though.
Me: Where did that come from?
Mr Smith : I was just reinforcing that I don't want too much to be off limits.
Me: It's organic. (In my head I was singing Que Sera, Sera)

I was instantly tired. Mentally.   I had just reread "It had to be you".  Did I want to be a married man's listening post, and occasional wank fodder?

Later that torturous evening with Keaton, where I pretty much had to spell out we couldn't be friends, I began a self-audit on other friendships. It's a simple equation; output should equal input.

Before I crashed out with a DVD box set, I said to Mr Smith that I regretted meeting him. Not entirely true but on the input/output calculation it just doesn't add up.

The London Bug: It Had To Be You

The week has flown- it's already Thursday.  The year is disappearing - it's already February.  
A new London Bug!

The post featured:

"It Had To Be You"

Talk about timing!

Young JT

A couple of mornings ago I met a man by chance. I smiled, almost on autopilot, he returned the smile.

It turned out he thought he was I his age (mid twenties) and he actually looked like a young @jtopper. His eyes were intense. His touch soft and his manner purposeful.

I'm not sure why younger men seem to the at eye level, and even less sure I actually like it.

I gave him my name, number, medical history and inside leg measurements within the first ten minutes, my, I probably would have divulged my PIN number had he dropped it into conversation.

God, I'm easy, but talking to him was easy.

What must have been the first thing he did as he left (my phone was a constant of vibration for the rest of the day) was message me "I'd like to take you out". Wow, if his confidence doesn't eat me alive, then I am determined mine will eat him alive!